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2003-08-03 - 10:09 p.m.

Yeah - it's been a long time and I know I need to finish the trip diary, but I've been busy with LIFE, my friends! We celebrated two birthdays, went to two movies, rented DVDs, played with dogs, hung out, read books, and just enjoyed the last days of summer vacation as much as possible.

Plus, I am so down about school this year and all the changes and all the ways I am getting screwed over that I honestly don't feel like sitting down and thinking. Because I know depressing thoughts will pop up. It took me all day today to come to terms with the latest news on the school front and I only managed to remind myself that I had sworn NOT to let any of it get to me this year this evening. It is not worth getting upset about. I am through pouring my passion and my hard work into trying to improve the school - when every idea is either ignored or stolen --- this year I will concentrate on the kids and on furthering my "professional development" . The system is hopelessly corrupt and that, I think, will never change.

I'm not as cynical as all that, but I did get burned by a school that I devoted myself to wholeheartedly (despite the grousing I've done in here) and I am not stupid enough to stay on that road to nowhere.

I've been emailing an old friend and I have to say it is really nice to reconnect with people. Some people. There are plenty of people in my past that I have no desire to see or speak to, but there are others who it is really good to talk to again.

I am bordering on being depressed about the fact that school starts in two weeks. Actually, the meetings start Wednesday. I have NEVER felt like that at this point in the year. I'm always rarin' to go, full of ideas and energy at this point. It doesn't bode well for the year. The only good thing in the near future is that I am already scheduled to give two teacher workshops in August. And while I don't really feel like doing all that work and giving up two Saturdays, I can always use the money and, more importantly, it'll look good on my resume.

How professional of me!

I have been thinking about becoming a runner. Don't laugh. I know that I am a bookworm and decidedly not an athlete and all of that --- but I keep thinking about how much I liked running when I was a kid and I like sprinting across the backyard with the dog and how I think it is something I could really do. The only obstacles are my laziness and my complete lack of interest in jogging (yuck) in the heat (yuck) in full view of the neighbors (yuck). Or, conversely, at the gym. But I think I'm going to do it. I know I need to be in better physical condition. As Verona pointed out just the other day, "Look! You have wrinkles. You're getting old!"

I didn't take this personally as it was said on her birthday. She's 6 months older than me.



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