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2003-07-17 - 1:27 a.m.

Yeah --- I don't know what's going on with this friend. Maybe we'll find out tomorrow. I just have run out of sympathy...

See, both Vero and I had kind of come to a place in our lives, before we met, where we were saying, "I may never find the love of my life. I may have to learn to be happy in and of myself." We had both made peace with that and each of us, in our own ways, had figured out who we wanted to be, what we wanted to do (well, let's be honest, as much as any of us is able to!), etc. Then we found each other through pure luck and we ended up not living the single life.

Our friend is terribly unhappy because he is alone. OK. So Vero and I have done what we could to encourage him to go out, meet people, try to socialize --- but he seems to think that someone perfect will just drop into his lap and make his life wonderful for him. I have several problems with that. First of all, if he is miserable alone, what makes him think he will be happy with someone? A relationship doesn't magically fix everything that is wrong with your life. And it certainly brings its own problems, too. Second, it's not raining men. He refuses to go anywhere where he might reasonably be expected to meet gay men. I even went with him to Dignity (and I'm not even a Christian) and he complained about how the liturgy was different from his church. If you aren't going to lift a finger to help yourself, what makes you think someone else is going to help you?

He plays the poor-me song - refusing to be happy alone, and refusing to take the necessary steps to meet this magical person that he thinks will solve all his problems. I find all of this very frustrating. I mean, I understand being unhappy, getting in a rut, and all that. Goodness knows I've worn some deep ruts in my time, but life is short. I think I've finally learned that I'm the only person who has the power to make myself happy (or sad).

Anyway - I don't know what he'll say tomorrow. Whether he stays or goes there's likely to be trouble. We'll see. I'll keep y'all posted.

In other news I just got a big bunch of beautiful zines from Pander Zine Distro and I am a happy camper tonight. Some of the zines I got are simply amazing.



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